A Revolution of Self: A Creative Director's Year of Starting Over
The Climb: An Artist's Guide to Finding One's Path
Michael Huang is a Seattle-based b-boy (breakdancer), community organizer, and entrepreneur.
This is his response to the bonus questions posed in An Artist's Guide: The Art of Starting Over
These prompts have touched on a concept that has been heavy on my mind from both a personal and professional development standpoint: the mountain
The concept is a common professional platitude, also known as the airplane concept or the proverbial north star. The idea is simple: if you're attempting to climb a mountain and can see the peak, every step and inch of the way becomes pegged to that point as you put your head down and pace yourself towards the top. On the flip side, if you do not know where your peak is (i.e. your ultimate goal) then you begin to count those steps as each becomes more difficult and less rewarding. With no north star, you may make progress while still being lost.
“With no north star, you may make progress while still being lost.”
The reason why I've been exploring this question for myself is this dichotomy between goal-driven action and action for action's sake. Look at the most prolific artists, leaders, and creators of the past and you'll see a common and unrelenting sense of direction. Bruce Lee wrote “My Definite Chief Aim,” a beautifully penned personal note which eloquently states in surgical specificity what he intends to achieve in his life. He was in his early 20's when he wrote this and went on to direct and produce over 5 films and much more before his untimely death only a few years later. I believe his decisive and absolute understanding of what his goals were at the time we're imperative to his ability to channel his energy and focus.
This has not been an easy question to answer for myself. What if what we think is our ultimate goal turns out to be not? What if it's the opposite? Is this a rational fear? Or is the idea of the path itself valuable enough just for showing us how wrong we are about ourselves? What if the peak we define simply hides a higher one behind it? What if a rabid pack of wolves awaits you on your direct path, do you veer laterally?
“We must be prepared to reconcile the dirty work, the mundane, the uninspiring moments against something more than just our own sense of resilience. ”
At the end of it all, I believe that whatever we set out to do, we must be prepared to reconcile the dirty work, the mundane, the uninspiring moments against something more than just our own sense of resilience. I think its valuable to think through where our conviction lies in reference to our own potential - and what, beyond our own finite abilities and life, can we do that will be lasting and important past our own selfish desires. Even if that path ends with no tangible conclusion, it may answer some deep questions about your own life, what motivates you, what you're left wanting.
The Greatest Gift I Ever Gave Myself
The greatest gift I ever gave myself was freedom from the responsibility to judge everything and everyone in my path. Basically the idea is this:
When you come across a pile of broken glass on the ground you don't say "f___ you glass! With your sharp edges, you're dangerous! You offend me! You hurt me! You could hurt someone else! I hate you!"
Instead, you think about what might be needed to clean it up. Maybe you just step around it and move along your way. You might consider how it got there. About the person who may have dropped and broke the glass. Maybe it was an accident. Maybe they tripped over someone else’s mistake. Maybe they dropped it out of fear or threw it out of anger. Either way it’s here, it’s broken, and the problem is bigger than just you and your reaction to it.
We already judge ourselves enough. I’m working to replace judgment with understanding, and fear with love. So far it has relieved a lot of undue stress on myself and most importantly, made room for creative work where there was none before.
An Artist's Guide: The Art of Starting Over
It's officially mid-summer here in Los Angeles - the end of July - and like clockwork this season always brings me back to the visions I had at the beginning of the year. While reflecting back on the last six months of good and bad choices I'm also thrusted forward to December, anticipating the end of the year and praying with clenched fists that I'll have something worthy to show for it.
It's a good time to re-up on the self-promises I may have forgotten: the album that stalled, writing regimen that wained (*this blog included, sorry*), the workout habit that somehow faded away...all in the whirlwind of what we call 'life shit.'
While stuck in the thick of reflection I came across the following words from GFDA:
It reminded me that restarting is inevitable, that everyday is day one, and sometimes life forces you to adapt. Evolution, however - now that is a conscious choice.
With the intention of growing and not repeating the same mistakes, I ask myself the following:
- What am I grateful for?
- What am I avoiding?
- What small step can I take, today?
I remember back when I was first starting out in music and Myspace was my only gateway. When Myspace began to fade out, I started recording cover songs on YouTube (when you could get away with webcam video quality and crap audio). When I got bored of the covers, I started uploading originals to Soundcloud. A year later we released on iTunes and Spotify. I tried it independently. I tried it with a small label. I tried it with an agent, two managers, and a handful of producers. And I'm still trying. The distribution platforms and processes have consistently changed from year to year, but my hustle is the same. And it's because of this experience of cyclical upstarts and downshifts in my career that I can say:
You've been here before. You did it then. You'll do it again.
Bonus Questions
A: What are you checking in on? What's changed since you began? Are you where you thought you'd be? Why or why not?
B: What does it mean to start over? Is it just a change of heart? A change of perspective? Or just part of the territory. How does it feel to start over?
C: What's causing you to start over? What inspires you to start over? Is there a project that you've scrapped for something else? Is there a relationship you've had to abandon to build anew? How are you dealing?
Leave a comment or email your response here.
Thumbnail Image via Tony Webster
An Artist's Guide: Taking It Personally
I've barely begun to process the tragedy that occurred this weekend. Mostly because I'm still facing the guilt of inwardly looking away as I scrolled through the headlines. Another shooting. Another mass killing. Another cry for help. Another hashtag #prayforOrlando. I didn't want to hear any more.
But this wasn't just another act of senseless gun violence. It was a targeted assault on the LGBTQ community. It was an attack on freedom of identity and expression and love. It was the manifestation of all the darkness and fear and ugliness that we breathe in every day on U.S. soil but try to sweep under the rug. Our world is ill. Our souls need healing. This was not just another shooting. This was not just another political event. They are not just the lives of 'others.' Our future peace demands that we take this personally, no matter how hard it is to face.
What that means could be different for every person. But for me, it means standing for love and equal rights for all safe expressions of gender and sexuality. It means having difficult discussions with my family and friends about transphobic and anti-gay sentiments that we now realize are simply anti-human. Same goes for anti-Muslim comments and hate speech of any kind. It means #fuckDonaldTrump. It means not giving in to fear. It means calling out the ugly in myself and being aware of my privilege. It means celebrating diversity and the history of LGBTQ people whose identities were erased. It means I care, even when I don't want to because it's exhausting.
And then, I pray.